I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
