YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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