Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
