I bet he comes in French.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize