his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I miss vodka workout Fridays
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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