Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize