bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
