from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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