One girl and one boy is just not enough.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
