yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
