trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
