I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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