I'd wear matching sweaters with you
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Randomize
