I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
