I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
