I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
