i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
