so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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