We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
