he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
