Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Randomize
