Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
