now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
There's even glitter on my cock...
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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