is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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