It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
