he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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