She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Randomize
