This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
