You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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