I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I skipped work to stalk him.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
