you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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