Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
