The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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