i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
