i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
