You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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