nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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