i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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