Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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