I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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