whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Randomize
