I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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