you guys were way drunker than both of me
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
