Me too!
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
