I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
