Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
