Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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