everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
We left an ass print on the piano.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize