He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I need water and some morals
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
