Buhtt sex?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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