I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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