I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
