I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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