from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I'm getting married
To pizza
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
