I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
