We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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