There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
no you cant smoke seaweed
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Randomize
