ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
