Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize