if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
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