i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I smell stomach acid.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize