Duck Duck Cougar?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
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